Has ever one person made up an entire team more so than our Michael Vick? This kid is Fantas-Vick! He�s Vick-tastic! Fan-Vick-tick (OK that one doesn�t really work as well but you get the point). The guy defines indefinable, does the undo-able, and is downright impressive doing it. Yep, he�s a Hokie. Never before in any sport has a single person been able to so completely captivate an entire planet. Michael Vick has a ridiculous ability to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I want the Falcons to put this kid on defense, too. I mean, how absolutely boring is it to be forced to watch another team�s offense while Vick sits on the sideline waiting his turn? Will, can you assign someone to record everything Vick from now on, editing out the opposing teams� offensive sequences? I would buy such a compilation.

Michael Vick elevates the play of every single player on his team. If Vick can do that to a football team, imagine what he could do on a larger scale. Thus, I am proposing Vick for President. It�s about time we had a Hokie in the White House. Vick could get things done without any problems from Congress. He�s so fast that he could draft, propose, amend, pass, and sign a bill into law faster than my state�s good Senator Kerry can flip flop on the issues. "I�m just a bill. Yes I�m only a bill. [Oh come on � sing it. You know the tune.] And I�m sitting here on Capitol Hill." Well, you won�t be sitting around any longer, little bill buddy. Not with Vick in the Oval Office.

Would President Vick even need the Secret Service? Vick can get out of the way of anything. He�d just end up having to save their butts. I swear that if Vick had been around when Shaq got that Superman tattoo, it would have a "V" instead of an "S" on it. Seinfeld would subliminally place a #7 somewhere in every episode (if he were still on the air). You know about that rumor that says he has hidden a Superman symbol somewhere in every episode? I always try to find it but Kramer is so funny that I get distracted.

All of that said, was it really the fault of Dan Reeves? The Falcons were miserable without Vick but with him, they are a playoff team capable of beating anyone. So should Reeves have been fired? Let�s use the only other available comparison to decide: Frank Beamer. Vick was just as un-freakin-believable as a Hokie that he is as a Falcon, so how did Beamer handle the loss of Vick? Did Beamer go 2-10 like Reeves did? Were the Hokies completely inept after Vick left? With no intention to dwell on this topic, I�ll give it to you short and sweet. Reeves drafted the best of the best, paid them millions of dollars and got nothing from them after Vick went down. Beamer recruits the best possible players who will fit his system, and obviously they�re not all of professional caliber, but Beamer never went 2-10 after Vick. The Hokies never self-destructed like the Falcons did this season . . . because Beamer would not let them. So should we do to Beamer what they did to Reeves? Hell no. Beamer stays (though other changes need to be made). End of discussion.

The good news for all of us is that Michael�s back, baby, and I dare say, better than before? You be the judge (last Sunday's game notwithstanding). He was the leading rusher in his return in a game with Stephen Davis, the really, really good running back that Steve Spurrier thought would be better off scoring a lot of points for someone else�s team. (Now there�s a coach that should be fired.) Please Danny boy, please fire the ol� ball coach. From now on, anyone calling themselves the ol� ball coach should be fired immediately, it�s just that stupid. So Dan-man I implore you, please fire him now (maybe hire Reeves). Then once you get rid of Spurrier, fire yourself. Let�s face it, you suck. You�ve sucked since you started and frankly, the Redskins have gone from being one of the greatest teams in the world to a laughing stock. Come on Dan, you�ve fired people for not calling you Mr. Snyder, but you won�t fire someone for destroying a great rookie QB (Patrick Ramsey) by getting him killed in every game? I assume that you are a bright guy, since you have made millions of dollars in the business world, so how �bout puttin� some of dem learnin� skills to work. Here�s to hoping that the ol� ball coach slips one day and calls the little guy by his first name. Sorry about that tangent, but it had to be said.

Back to the Michael Vick show, which by the way should be the subtitle to the NFL. Since Vick will always be a Hokie, I watched the Falcons/Panthers game and have the following to say about our famed QB. First of all, they put the microphone on Mike Rucker for Carolina. I love this "miked" (Is that even a word?) thing that ESPN does. We should be allowed to mike people outside of football. Am I the only one who would love to mike the resident office drunkard at the Christmas party (I�ll go into that in a later column)? I think we could make it a reality show in itself. Anyway, Rucker was miked and had this to say to his players before the game: "Hey, we like a pack of wolves and we ain�t ate in a while." Hmm. You think being panthers that haven�t eaten in a while would have been too much of a stretch? But the funniest thing was the other player in the huddle who started howling like, well, I guess like a wolf who ain�t ate in a while. Too funny.

With a win in that game, Carolina would have won their division. Think they were happy Vick chose this game to make his return? Let�s ask "He Hate Me," he plays for Carolina. I love that guy. He will always be "He Hate Me." Always. "Melissa do you take �He Hate Me� to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health, the XFL and NFL." I love it. (Ladies, would you take his name?)

So for the first play of the game Atlanta decided to intercept. Bring on the man. He�s Michael again by the way. They should have called a QB draw for every play of the game. Calling anything else would be like watching the show The Simple Life and having it be a half hour of Nicole Richie. No one wants to see Nicole. Give �em what they came for. So what did they call? Evidently it didn�t matter. Vick does what Vick does, and that is why we love him. He scrambled left, reversed to the right, outran two guys and dumped off a seven-yard completion knowing that he was going to be creamed by Julius Peppers. God I missed him. You know what I am thinking? Most of the time I don�t either, but try this on for size. The Falcons sucked just enough this year to get a pretty high draft pick and with Warrick Dunn injured and TJ Ducket getting paid to watch Vick out rush him, I am thinking a certain Kevin Jones would be a super good fit in a Falcons uni. Just imagine. Really, think about it. You�re drooling. I know � I am too.

You know what is really fantastic? We were three minutes into that game and the commentators had yet to say a single sentence without mentioning Michael Vick�s name. This was my favorite: "Alright Michael Vick, knock it off. They didn�t come here to see you hand the ball off." I often get into a verbal war with my father about the greatest QB ever to play the game. I claim that Vick is the best QB in the NFL today, with the ability to be the greatest ever. Dad will go to his grave claiming that nobody will ever be better than Johnny Unitas. Well, we won�t have a resolution �til Vick plays for another 10+ years. This is where Dad tries to make his point. How can a guy be considered the best ever if he is injured most of the time? Valid. So as long as Vick pulls a Brett Favre from here on out, I don�t think anyone will be able to hold a candle to him. He is the Michael Jordan of football, and yes, I might even buy a pair of his shoes. Keep an eye out for the Air Vick.

By the way, did you hear them explaining why Mike Vick is no longer Mike Vick? His mother asked him if she named him Mike or Michael. So what�s with all the Mike stuff? He was Michael at Tech and he will always be Michael to us. Speaking of which, it is so good to see him playing again.

Did you happen to catch Chris Weinke on the sideline? I can see my reflection on his head. I know that�s quite mean, but I�m balding myself, so I feel I have the right. You know, like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry�s dentist converted to Judaism so that he could crack Jewish jokes. Well I didn�t exactly convert to baldness, but it sure landed right smack on Weinke�s head, didn�t it. I�m still bitter about the Sugar Bowl. Is it obvious?

Another one of my favorite quotes of that game came from Joe Joe (Theisman). I don�t remember exactly what he said but he compared Vick�s footwork to that of Barry Sanders, Muhammad Ali, and Sugar Ray Leonard. I don�t mind the comparison to boxers but frankly, they don�t take hits as hard as Vick does. 141 yards rushing � top five in rushing yards for a QB in the NFL. Theisman said that he�s "exhausted just from talking about how great Vick is." And I don�t blame him. Has it ever been this exciting watching a 2-10 football team? I may be wrong, but Vick�s comeback could not have come at a better time for Hokie fans. A reason to be excited about football again.

Let me know if you disagree but I think Atlanta�s uniforms are pretty ugly. But Vick could make even the Oregon Duck�s highlighter duds look smooth. He�s a contagion. Like a Ritz cracker with cheddar cheese and grape jelly. (Oh, maybe that�s just me. Try it � it�s good.) Vick makes everyone step it up. This is what he does. This is the kind of impact player that the Hokies are missing. But it�s not the skill we need, it�s the personality. A killer instinct, a you-can�t-stop-me attitude. It rubs off on every player. We had it in Vick, Corey Moore, and a few others. I�m voting Jordan Trott has it. I love that kid. Write it down. He will become a presence.

Anyone else have the song "when I move you move, yeah, just like that" in their head while they were watching the Carolina/Falcons game? As if it weren�t enough to have Jessica Alba (yeah I�ll be buying the movie Honey as soon as it�s out) running through my mind dancing to that song, but then ESPN decided to use it as their main tune to showcase Vick in his debut. I have conflicting images in my head now and while both of them truly amaze, I�m not sure I can be comfortable like this.

Well, Vick's return game a week ago capped a great day for Hokies. Michael is back and makes us want to actually stay up late enough to watch a Sunday night football game. And to top it all off, our very own Bruce Smith takes the all-time sack record. The man is a machine. Nineteen years in the NFL. Nineteen. People don�t even hold normal jobs for nineteen years.

It was raining Hokies that night. I have never heard ex-players slobber all over anyone like they did Vick. Is it any wonder Reeves missed this kid? Beamer misses him too. Hell, we all do � but we have another Vick, and a Randall, and a coach who is taking us to bowls even after losing the most exciting player in football. We ain�t the Falcons, folks, and for that I am thankful to Beamer.

And because I have so much useless freakin knowledge in my head, I am ending each column with movie trivia. So here it is: "Did you see the size of that chicken?" (One of my all-time favorite movies.)

Questions, comments, concerns, or insults are always encouraged . . . [email protected].

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