I have spent the last few days in Florida visiting family. I picked a hell of a weekend to do so, and thus I want to share my Sunshine State experiences with you in this edition of Wide Right.

First things first, I am not in Miami . . . but you wouldn�t know it from the swarms of Miami fans that seem to come out of the woodwork when they�re doing well. Halloween night, at a local bar, I ran into a less than cordial WVU fan wearing a Yankees cap. Needless to say, I had no love for him at all. But while out on a jog Saturday morning, I was pleasantly surprised as passing cyclists yelled "Go Hokies" in response to the Tech hat I was wearing. We are everywhere � Beautiful.

This inspired me to grab a pen and paper and scribble down the game as I saw it. I have absolutely no concept of game time on most of these scribbles but they are, for the most part, in chronological order.

• We were looking pretty good until Randall threw that int. in the red zone . . . not the best way to complete your first pass of the game. Shades of WVU flying through my head.
• Great acting by the Miami punter. Roughing the kicker my ***. Definitely a contender for the People�s Choice Award.
• Hey, check out the VT pumpkin head fans in the stands. They are great � really makes me want to be there with you lucky people.
• 3^rd and 5, huge play here, HUGE. 3:54 left in the 1^st and . . . SACK � SACK � SACK. No. 70, Kevin Lewis. 4^th and 7 now . . . (in my best Chandler Bing voice) Could that have been any sweeter?
• So Miami will get on the board first with a 39 yd. field goal. That�s not so bad. Holy crap, Eric Green out of nowhere! Blocked kick baby, blocked kick. I just lost control of my bladder.
• I�m wearing me E. Green jersey. What am I, Irish? Did I write "me" jersey? This is how excited I am.
• Enter Marcus Vick with 3:01 left in the 1st. I can hear the word controversy brewing in the heads of the commentators.
• Jones is hitting the holes hard, very hard. True Heisman form here, folks.
• Penalties are killing us.
• Vick with a great scramble. Two QBs for the rest of the season. No controversy here, just using our strengths wisely.
• We are taking two steps forward and one back with these penalties. Come on folks, discipline.
• Jones looks like a different kid. Maybe it�s the importance of the game but Jones is faster than full speed tonight. He�s amazing. I can hear the bionic man theme music in the background every time he touches the ball � DA NANANANANANANA.
• I can�t sit down, but I can�t stand up. This is ridiculous. I�m playing musical chairs with no music and one chair. So really not like musical chairs at all. What in the hell am I doing?
• My buddy Queeney just called. He can�t stay still, either. He�s working his way through speed dial on his phone in an attempt to settle himself . . . like talking to me is gonna calm his nerves.
• 7 penalties in the first quarter is unACCeptable (had to be done). We are killing ourselves.
• This has got to be some kind of NCAA record � 109 yards rushing in the first quarter. Are �ya kidding me?
• (The following scribble will be typed exactly as written to give the full effect of the moment � Miami has the ball.) "Reverse. Reverse. Crap. Hall. Ball. (Some type of inaudible, clenched teeth groaning noise.) Oh my god. Run you (expletive). Touchdown. (Followed by a jig of some sort.)."
• I can�t write anymore. I can�t keep up. Too excited. Holy Crap.
• Berlin is off the mark in the second. He looks rattled. Our defense is really doing their job.
• Can�t catch your own pass Brock baby.
• My friend Bog just called.
         Me: "Dude."
         Bog: "I know."
• KJ lined up in the slot. Vick to KJ, ooohhh so close. Why have I not seen that play before? I love it.
• We are so loud. Terror Dome baby. Corey Moore would be proud.
• Ever notice how every measurement requires the chains to come from the other side of the field?
• Adibi just pulled up because he recognized a possible screen pass. The screen happened to go to the opposite side but that is truly a heads up play by Adibi. Perhaps a "small pleasure" . . .
• Hey there�s a ghost in the end zone. Cool.
• "Dad, we come so hard on the block, this could be a fake field goal." I called it as they were lining up for it. For some reason I think many of us could see it coming. As I watched it unfold, I resigned myself to a tie ballgame. He was wide open in the end zone. I got up and started toward the kitchen to get another drink when . . . "Jeff, he dropped it. He dropped the pass. Who drops that pass?" Are you kidding me? This is when I knew.
• I have never seen Jones run this hard. Freakin� beautiful. DA NANANANA.
• No. 41 Trott is playing like a bat-out-of-hell. A really freakin� awesome bat-out-of-hell.
• Berlin sacked on the 2-yd line. 2^nd quarter, 1:22 left in the half. Miami to punt from their own end zone. Make it easier on yourselves and snap it over his head for 2.
• Randall with a dangerously good play. One of those plays that when it works it is very heads-up but when it doesn�t the wrath of God comes down on you. He threw the ball away with 1:00 left in the half after scrambling and almost being sacked.
• Beamer with a great 3^rd and 4 call. Jones to the middle of the field. If it works, we get a 1^st down. If not, we are set up nicely for a Warley special.
• Field goal�s good. 10 � 0 at the half. I need an IV.
• Not a great way to start the second half. The Canes with a good kickoff return. Let�s not let this slip away.
• As if on cue, Brock Berlin fumbles the ball.
• Man, D. Lo just rocked Parrish like it was his job. Good lord, that knocked the breath out of me.
• Marcus Vick on a QB draw. B � E � A � U � tiful.
• I wrote "Carp" but believe me, I meant "Crap" when Vick pitched the ball behind the RB. Miami ball. "That�s twice [in the last 2 games]. I want some butt (Top Gun)."
• Did you see this Nike Gridiron commercial with Vick and T.O.? Simply awesome. What a great commercial for pro football, by two guys that have literally done nothing for the sport this year. At least Vick has an excuse. Sorry, T.O.�s on my fantasy team (actually both are) and I am a little bitter.
• Eric Green with an interception for a touchdown. This is why I wear his jersey baby. Hu-freakin�-mongous. That�s it, I�m growing dreads.
• I love on the replay when Green caught that int. the crowd just went from loud to a-whole-nother level. God I miss the Burg.
• Who is this announcer that keeps trying to start a QB controversy? Somebody shut him up please.
• By the way, I think that their punter is on our team.
• There is nothing about this night that is not utterly fantastic.
• 3^rd quarter with 7:52 left to play and our O is ultra conservative. This game is all on the D, baby. I think we�ve passed the ball more to the Canes than we have to ourselves, but with the 6 million dollar RB who cares.
• No penalties since the first quarter for Tech. Nice adjustments.
• 3^rd quarter with 4 minutes 59 seconds left and I am a nervous wreck.
• Oh Michael. How very nice of you to intercept that pass and run it all the way back to the 10-yard line. Mr. Crawford, you are the wind beneath my wings.
• TD KJ. TD KJ. (Interesting: Microsoft Word does not seem to think those are grammatically correct sentences.) Not so nervous anymore. I actually just performed a pretty cool TD dance.
• There�s no place like Blacksburg. There�s no place like Blacksburg. Doesn�t seem to work as well when you�re not wearing Ruby Red Slippers.
• Miami QB change. I don�t like it. Berlin was doing so well for us. Coker should have asked. Inconsiderate.
• Vinnie Fuller � so close to picking that off.
• 4^th and 1 Coker. You�ve got a hair trigger defense staring you down. What do you do? What do you do? You don�t get it baby, that�s what you do.
• I am going to get soooo drunk tonight.
• Here�s me: "I don�t think we are going to pass the ball anymore." Here�s Marcus, Wilford, and Beamer: "Uh . . . wrong."
• Vick to Wilford, TD. Prettier than life itself. Throw a celebration flag on me. Throw it baby, �cause I�m doing that dance again.
• I just had this vision of me in the middle of the entire Tech team yelling. "Will you protect this house?" I will. I will.
• Miami just punted in the 4^th, down 31-0. Why do they punt? Why? They just gave up.
• Crap, there goes the shutout.
• I just got a Washington State � USC update and apparently USC wants to be called either USC or "The Men of Troy." Are you kidding me? From now on they will be known as the "Fighting Condoms." Who are these people?
• Seems like there have been 7 minutes left in this game for the last 7 minutes.
• Great commentator quote: "Look at this stadium. Nobody is leaving. This crowd has been great." I can�t fathom why anyone would leave a game like this.
• Vincent Fuller with an int. baby. I think I just saw Berlin and Coker arm in arm on the sideline singing a "Turn out the Lights" medley.
• I can�t stand this announcer. First he says Vick is definitely our starter and now he says that Randall should start at wide receiver. Who is this guy?
• Now Miami has completely lost all composure. They get Hall ejected for defending his team. What a bunch of crap.
• Game over baby . . . I am exhausted.
• Hey Mark May, as soon as you get that size 14 out of your mouth, you�ve got a Happy Gilmore quote to recite. Enjoy it Trev.
• The SportsCenter guy just said we shellacked Miami. More like we Shala-lacked �em. "Well hello Donna, first trip to the Woodshed? Please enjoy your stay."
• Tech�s defense was, to quote Stuart Scott, "stupid" good.
• Rece Davis just had an epiphany. He said that Tech attempted only 8 passes and Miami would have been better off not attempting any. Gotta love it.
• Just called my buddy Crossman. He�s a Miami fan. God that was fun.
• Now if you�ll excuse me, I have a lot of these calls to make.

Nice Job Hokies. Very nice job.

If you have questions, comments, or insults, I can be reached at . . . [email protected]

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