Heroes and Goats, Week Two
by Matthew McKinley, 9/11/03
I…hate…off … weeks. (Have I ever mentioned that before?) It’s finally college football season, and there are games on, and NONE OF THEM ARE THE HOKIES! ARRRRRRRGH! It’s enough to drive me CRAZY! Whoops, too late. Better get off this topic and on to the Heroes and Goats….
These are just some observations of a guy in the stands who used to play football. Once. When he was 12. Take that as you will.
Hero: Cedric Humes. Subbing for an injured Kevin Jones, Humes shouldered the load, toting the rock 15 times for 75 yards, including his first three career touchdowns. Despite a couple of fumbles, Humes turned in a solid performance for the Hokies when he was needed the most.
Goat: JMU’s Demetrius Shambley. To paraphrase from a Spike Lee Joint: "When I say Demetrius, you say punk! Demetrius!" "Punk!" "Demetrius!" "Punk!" In a fit of pique, Shambley shoved a well out-of-bounds Kevin Jones into the stadium wall early in the 2nd quarter, causing Kevin to sprain both of his wrists. He was ejected for his actions, but many Hokies will agree that that wasn’t enough punishment for such a cheap shot.
Hero: DeAngelo Hall. Hall had a busy day. One catch for 9 yards. An interception in what one message board poster said was the first ball thrown to his side all year. But he was most productive in the punt return department, fielding 3 for 105 yards, with two of them almost scoring. An impressive day for an impressive player.
Goat: JMU coach Mickey Matthews. Waaaah! Waaaah! Waaaah! We’re not getting enough money! Waaaah! Thursday before the game, Matthews complained to the media that Tech wasn’t paying enough for JMU to come to this game. "I just think when we play these games, we need to get more money." Shut your piehole, coach. Maybe we just don’t need to schedule JMU anymore, if that’s how you feel about it.
Hero: Aaron Rouse. Rouse got his first start in place of Brandon Manning. So what does he do? Oh, just lead the team in tackles, that’s what. 4 solo tackles and 7 assists, to be precise. And a nice little forced fumble to boot. Great job, Aaron!
Heroes: VT Tight Ends. 2 more passes caught makes five on the year. Can somebody point me back towards reality please?
Finally back into the swing of things, after the Week 1 Patsy Games are over.
Hero: Georgia Tech. The Jackets got off to a lousy start, losing to a pretty bad BYU team (or so sayeth a Mormon coworker – I guess he would know). So when Auburn comes into town, what happens? They stuff them. And nearly shut them out. And sitting next to my sister at the game, witnessing this debacle, was none other than Charles Barkley. "It was nice meeting you Mr. Barkley, but even nicer that we just punked y’all’s [butt]," she quoted herself from the airport after the game. No word yet on his response.
Goat: Florida’s Defensive Coordinator. You’re up by 23 on Miami, and harrying their quarterback like there’s no tomorrow. What do you do? Uhh, coach, next time, try answering something other than "prevent defense." Miami QB Brock Berlin was able to sit in the pocket and pick apart the Gator prevent D, which long time Hokies know, does nothing but prevent the Gators from winning the game.
Hero: Wake Forest. Two weeks in a row, the Deacs win games that they shouldn’t be winning. This week, they managed to topple a Wolfpack team that might just have been looking forward to Ohio State the next week. What is Coach Grobe putting in the water down there?
Goat: Temple. Anyone losing to a 1-AA team deserves a goat, and Temple gets it this week, losing to Villanova in OT. So, how long is it again before Temple is kicked out of the Big East? Oh, yeah, we’ll be gone. Who cares?
Hero: BC RB Derrick Knight. Derrick must not have been happy as BC jumped out to an early 21-0 lead over Penn State, as he was getting an X-ray of an injured hip. But the X-ray turned out negative, and he came out and rushed for 134 of his 156 yards in the 2nd half, sealing the win in Not-So-Happy Valley. In other news, hit statistics onwww.joepamustgo.com went up 87% in the two days following the loss.
Goat: Virginia Offense. Only 17 yards passing in the first half and 9 yards rushing in the second half, on the way to being outgained 423-170, and losing to South Carolina. South Carolina? BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Still only a few great games this weekend, but that will soon change. Until then, enjoy these.
California @ Utah, Thursday @ 7:30pm, ESPN
Toledo @ Marshall, Friday @ 7:00pm, ESPN
North Carolina State @ Ohio State, Saturday @ 12:00pm, ABC/ESPN Gameplan
Notre Dame @ Michigan, Saturday @ 3:30pm, ABC
Georgia Tech @ Florida State, Saturday @ 8:00pm, ABC/ESPN Gameplan
Well, that’s about it for this week’s Heroes and Goats. See ya at the tailgate!