Weekend Rooting Guide
by Matthew McKinley, 11/16/01

Alllllrighty, then! It seems the Movie Quote Edition last week showed just how much of a movie geek I am. For that reason (and because I don’t want to give away too many of my secrets), we’ll return to 80s music this week. Therefore, I present to you the Second 80s Music Edition of the Weekend Rooting Guide.

Since the two losses, we look at just the ESPN/USA Today Coaches’ Poll Top 25, VT’s Opponents, and a few other games of interest. The categories are gone (so I can use more room with the picks), and we’re now just here to have some fun.

So….."Play it again, Sam!"

Top 25

(#2) Miami (8-0) @ (#13) Syracuse (8-2)

A Syracuse win here doesn’t help us any more than a Miami win does. I’m also hoping to see an undefeated Miami roll into Blacksburg in December. Pray for snow.
Root: Can(e) you take me high enough? – Damn Yankees

(#20) Florida State (6-3) @ (#3) Florida (8-1)

What a crock. Why is a 6-3 team still in the Top 20? I don’t care if it’s Florida State. But they’re playing Florida, so…..
Root: I wanna Nole what love is. I want you to show me. – Foreigner

(#4) Oklahoma (9-1) @ Texas Tech (6-3)

How come these guys aren’t in the Top 20 at 6-3? Huh? Explain that one to me!
Root: (Red) Raiders on the storm. – the Doors

(#6) Tennessee (7-1) @ Kentucky (2-7)

Memphis hung a 28-spot on Tennessee while Kentucky racked up 56 on Vandy. Yes, I know, it’s Vandy, but can the W-w-wildcats do it here? Probably not, but here’s for hoping.
Root: Stray ‘Cat Strut, I’m a ladies’ ‘Cat. I’m a feline casanova, hey man, that’ that. – Stray ‘Cats

Utah (7-2) @ (#8)Brigham Young (10-0)

Could this be the one that trips up Bring ‘em Young? Maybe. BYU didn’t look too impressive last week against a lousy Wyoming team.
Root: They call us problem child. We spend our lives on trial. We walk an endless mile. We are the Utes gone wild! – Can’t have enough Skid Row.

(#9) Maryland (9-1) @ North Carolina State (6-3)

The Terps, with a win here, will clinch the ACC crown. Are we back in that bizarro-world again?
Root: In touch with the ground, I’m on the hunt, I’m after you. Scent and a sound, I’m lost and I’m found. And I’m hungry like the Wolf(pack). – Duran Duran

(#10) Washington State (9-1) @ (#14) Washington (7-2)

Mmmmm….the Apple Cup. ‘Twould be better for us if Washington wins, because Miami might just take back the #1 spot with a win over them next weekend.
Root: We had it all, just like Bogie and Bacall. Starring in our old late, late show. Sailin’ away to (Hus)key Largo. – Bertie Higgins

(#11) Michigan (7-2) @ Wisconsin (5-5)

Well, it’s near the end of a disappointing season for the Badgers. And Mi-chicken is…well…Mi-chicken.
Root: I’ve got it Bad(ger), I’ve got it Bad(ger), I’ve got it Bad(ger)! I’m hot for teacher! – Van Halen

(#12) Illinois (8-1) @ Ohio State (6-3)

And how come Ohio State isn’t ranked, either? They’re 6-3, too! (Okay, I’m beating this horse to death, aren’t I?)
Root: Maybe deep down inside, I’m tryin’ for no one else but me, too stubborn to say, "the Buck(eye) stops here. I’m not the one you’re lookin’ for." – Genesis

California (0-9) @ (#15) Stanford (6-2)

Okay, so maybe Stanford isn’t quite as good as I thought they were. But they’re not bad enough to lose to California. *sigh* One can only hope.
Root: If this world makes you crazy and you’ve taken all you can Bear. You call me up, because you know I’ll be there. And I’ll see your truuuuue colors shining throuuuuuuugh. Okay, I’ll stop right there.

(#17) Virginia Tech (7-2) @ Virginia (4-6)

Classic. The $%^$%^ Hoos are already bowl-ineligible. It’s great to be a Hokie.
Oops, sorry. You want a song? Okay: You do the Hokie Pokie and you turn yourself around. That’s, (my friends,) what it’s all about!

Alabama (4-5) @ (#18) Auburn (7-2)

The Iron Bowl. One of College Football’s best rivalries. Did I mention that I hate Alabama?
Root: Say—you don’t want to chance it, you’ve been hurt so before. Watch it now, (War) Eagle in the sky. How he dancin’ one and only. – Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! (to quote Meg Ryan, I’m sure she was talking about the band)

(#19) Loserville (9-1) @ East Carolina (6-3)

Remember how they used to compare Garrard to Vick? Well, this would be a good time for him to play like him.
Root: 5 brownie points here, if you can come up with an 80s song other than Pirate Looks at 40 that has Pirate in it. (I used that one last time.)

(#21) UCLA (6-3) @ USC (5-5)

DeShaun Foster, ineligible, turned in by…..a USC booster! BWAAAHAHAHA! Sounds like the SEC.
Root: Guess I must be dumb, you had a pocket full of horses. Trojans, and some of them used. What the heck. 5 more brownie points for the artist and next 3 lines. (Should be easy.)

Clemson (5-4) @ (#22) South Carolina (7-3)

Can’t root for South Carolina. I got in trouble with Will for that Cock movie line. ;^)
Root: It’s the eye of the Tiger it’s the thrill of the fight. Rising up to the challenge of our rival. – Survivor said a complete VT-UVA game preview, right there. Go Hokies!

(#23) Georgia Tech (6-3) @ Wake Forest (5-4)

Root: Little ditty, about Jackets and Diane. Two American kids growin’ up in the heartland. – What did you think I would root against Georgia Tech? Think, McFly, think!

Ohio (1-8) @ (#24) Marshall (8-1)

Is Marshall on the schedule for next year? They should be, they’re MAC.
Root: There’s a black man, with a Bobcat, livin’ in a black neighborhood. He’s got an interstate running through his front yard. You know he thinks he’s got it so good. – John Cougar, John Cougar Mellencamp, John Mellencamp, one of those guys!

(#25) Fresno State (8-2) @ Nevada (2-7)

Root: Here’s a ticket, (Wolf)pack your bag, time for jumpin’ overboard. The transportation is he-ere. – Talking Heads

VT Opponents

Connecticut (2-7) @ Middle Tenn State (7-3)

If a tree falls on the Sun Belt conference and nobody is around, would anybody care?
Root: Somehow, I lost my way, looking Huskie something in your eyes. But love will never compromise. Now this is the politics of life, yeah! – Another brownie point opportunity.

Central Michigan (3-6) @ Western Michigan (4-4)

Why do we have to keep rooting for these MAC teams?!?!?!
Root: In a West end town a dead end world. East end boys and Western (Michigan) girls. – Pet Shop Boys

Boston College (6-3) @ Rutgers (2-7)

Green is back, and he’s hungry. You think that Rutgers can give up 80 points in two consecutive weeks? Probably.
Root: I can fly higher than an Eagle, ‘cause you are the wind beneath my wings. - *gag* Now I’ll have this song in my head all day. Hopefully, so will you.

Temple (2-7) @ West Virginia (3-6)

Or will the 80 points be here? Hmmm…
Root: Goddess on the Mountain(eer) top. Burnin’ like a silver flame. The summit of beauty and love. And Venus was her name. WHOOOOO! - Bananarama

Other Games of Interest

Indiana (3-5) @ Penn State (3-5)

Keep whining, Joe. That just makes us root harder against you.
Root: Quien es, esta nina? Hoos(ier) that girl? Senorita, mas fina. Hoos(ier) that girl? - Madonna

Navy (0-8) @ Notre Dame (3-5)

This is an easy one to pick.
Root: In the Navy! Where you can sail the seven seas. In the Navy! Where you can put your mind at ease. – Well, I remember this song being played in the 80s. Close enough.

Miami, OH (7-3) @ Hawaii (6-3)

If you couldn’t go to Tech, wouldn’t it be cool to go to Hawaii?
Root: Shootin’ at the walls of heartache. Bang! Bang! I am the (Rainbow) Warrior! - Scandal with Patty Smythe

Duke (0-∞) @ North Carolina (5-5)

Last, and oh, so least, we have Duke. Oh-for-infinity is our target here. Even against Carolina. (Don’t worry, basketball season has already started.)
Root: Take your baby by the hand, and make her do a high hand stand. And take your baby by the (Tar) Heel, and do the next thing that you feel. – Last brownie point opportunity. Name the artist.

Well, that wraps up the Second 80s Music Edition of the Weekend Rooting Guide. I’ll see you all at the HokieCentral tailgate. And here I go with the shameless alcohol pitch: Bring me a drink! (Hey, I saw Alien Ant Farm do it Sunday night at the 9:30 club, why can’t I?)

And if you don’t bring me a drink, well, then I hope you still have "Wind Beneath My Wings" in your head. I still do.

-- Matthew McKinley (Freddyburg Hokie)


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