OK. It's time for me to admit it. I'm a Hokie addict. I've got orange & maroon pumping through my veins. Like many others of you, I regularly browse through the message board, occasionally adding my two cents or taking the bait of a flamer. These long summers start to drain my brain when all I want is for the Hokies to take the field again. But, until someone gets off their duff and invents that handy time machine so I can fast forward to August 27, I'll just have to resort to the same thing as most of you and re-watch the videos of last year's games and read up on other sporting news.

Unfortunately, very little sporting news is going on now (and before you say it, NO, I do NOT consider professional baseball to be news), so I've had to resort to catching up on the actual news. Pressed between the headlines of which Congressman is taking bribes from which lobbyist was an interesting article about feminazis accosting other women who decided to stay at home to raise children. I had never heard of this word before, and thought someone was simply playing with literary license, but lo and behold, there it was... in the Oxford Dictionary.

Did you know that words such as feminazi can actually become part of the language if used often enough? It's true. I've started a campaign to use Glose-ify in my every day conversation to see if Oxford will pick up on it some day. Feel free to do the same. Oxford releases a list of new terms each year that they add to the dictionary The Oxford Dictionary of New Words. Though many of them are boring additions, I did find some new words that Hokie fans might find interesting.

ADIBIFIED, adv: Being crushed in the backfield. syn: sacked.

AMNESIA, n: Affliction often found in sportswriters who one year state, "Virginia freakin' Tech at No. 3?! The Turkeys need some dressing. How about a way to beat Miami and Syracuse? Besides, it's an unwritten rule that no Big East champion is allowed in the top five" followed by praise and "I-told-you-so's" the next.

BACK, adj: 1. Resurging to previously attained heights. Usually heard in the phrase, "We're BACK, Baby." 2. Dropping and flopping after failing to achieve previously attained heights. Usually heard in the phrase, "As in falling back." 3. Unattainable future expectation. Usually heard in the phrase, "Just wait until next year... we'll really be BACK then, Baby."

BANDWAGON, n: A sturdy Blacksburg vehicle capable of supporting the millions of media and overnight fans who became sudden supporters of all things Hokie.

BEEF, n: Mountainous obstacles to opposing defenses. syn: Davis, DeMasi, Dunn, Gibson, Grove, Hattan, Kadela, Lambo, Lehr, Lewis, Marchant, Nelson, Owens, Ramsey, Redding, Selmon, Wincek.

BOZONE LAYER, n: The substance surrounding Wahoos that prevents the truth from penetrating. Those afflicted with this slimy layer can be obnoxious and pretentious, but are harmless in person - especially on the field. The bozone layer shows little sign of breaking down at any time in the future.

BUTCHIFICATION syn: looking the other way. For clarification, see WWFFB.

FODDER, n: Fuel consumed without requiring any attention; syn: Akron.

CAPACITY, adj: Potential occupancy of a stadium. This term can be misleading since 80,000 seat stadiums such as Veteran's Stadium and the Orange Bowl have only achieved four year attendance records of 12,861 and 38,248 respectively.

GENTRIFICATION, n: A process of strength and conditioning that can turn high-schoolers into granite gridiron obstacles.

GOOSE, DOMESTIC, n: A rare domesticated bird that lives in the Northeastern United States but calls Miami home. Trained Geese can be hazardous to anyone not affiliated with the sunshine state.

HEARTBREAK, n: Losing a game on the final play. To gain a complete understanding of this term, watch the 1999 VT/WVA or the 1998 VT/Syracuse football game.

HOKIE, n: A person of the finest moral standing and talent who is/was fortunate enough to attend the finest university in the world.

KNUCKLE-DEEP, adj: Replaces "knee-deep" as a term for being in a tough spot. (Coach Welsh, like his hapless Hoos, is knuckle-deep again, itching his brain while trying to figure out a way to contain those Hokies.)

LAYERED DEPTH, adj: We don't know either.

NIGHTMARE, n: Homecoming, 1998.

NO COMMENT, phr: Phrase previously used only by politicians and lawyers, but now used by Miami fans as an answer to, "So, how about the past 5 years?" (note: This dictionary edition will be printed in December 2000 and will reflect "6 years" at that time).

OPTIMISM, n: A Cane's view of his team before every season.

ORANGE CRUSH, v: To squeeze the pulp from a hapless victim in record setting 62-0 fashion.

PAC-10 RULE, n: The unwritten rule adopted by the Bowl Championship Series stating that they were just kidding when they made that rule about conferences needing to maintain a top-12 average... top 30 will do just fine for left-coasters.

PERFECTION, n: see Hokie.

PERGOLA, n: 1. A senseless structure originally designed by a drunken architect who was later quoted in saying, "I was just kidding guys!" 2. waste of money.

PESSIMISM, n: A Cane's view of his team after the first game.

PRIDE & JOY, n: A spectacular special teams unit.

RELOAD, v: 1. To heap on again. 2. Bud Foster's approach to building a new defense.

SABANIZE, v: To desert; leave in search of a better/safer haven. (All hands, SABANIZE the ship, women and children first!)

SENSE OF HUMOR, n: Something lacking in those who find it necessary to fire off insulted and you big meanie e-mails in response to these definitions.

SMILE, n: What will spread across my face if opposing fans e-mail me some of their own creative definitions instead.

SPEED, n: It means the same thing as before, but has a new synonym attached to it after the sound barrier was broken for the first time by a biped. syn: Vick.

TUTOR, v: 1. To teach or guide. 2. To do the work for someone else. (note: def. 2 is only valid in the state of Tennessee).

UVAC-WISE, n: An attempt by Harlottesville to deflect disgrace by attaching UVA's name to another city. City council members at Wise were heard commenting, "What a stinky pile of Wahoo!" However, they allowed the name change conceding the fact that it would be the first time "wise" and "UVa" were mentioned together.

WAHOO n: Term used to insult. (i.e. You stinky pile of Wahoo!)

WAZZZZZZUPPPP, n, v, adj, adv: Term of affection. Often used while having a bud and watching the game. A good response to, "Hey there Hokie."

WRIST-SLAP, n: NCAA mandated sanction for any college with a golden dome.

WWFFB, n: Acronym for World Wide Wrestling Federation Football. After announcing plans to begin a new football league, some college coaches have added new WWF moves to their playbooks, particularly in the southernmost regions of the country. Miami players have been donning capes and bodysuits while practicing WWF style body slams, rabbit punches, and eye-gouges.

There were plenty of other terms added to the dictionary recently (2000 if you go to the Oxford site to check it out), but I got tired while reading through them all. I only wanted to post the ones that were truly exciting, truly gloseified. So, until August 27 rolls around, it's back to the VCR with me. With 7-1/2 more weeks to go, I can watch the Hokies win another 50+ times before the kickoff with Georgia Tech. Go Hokies!