The Message Board Minute
-- by the MBM Staff
-- posted 9/30/99

A quick look at what's happenin' elsewhere in the Cyber Smack World.

What better week to kick off this column than UVA week? The staff here at the Message Board Minute offices have been desperately trying to keep up with all the jabber on all the boards this week, and believe us folks, this is no simple chore. After wading through literally billions of posts about farmers and tractors at you know where, and clicking through gazillions of typo-laced diatribes on Butch Davis at you also know where, we've found a few posts that we feel must be highlighted. You can expect some action from the Sabre.com and 'Cane Football just about every day, but we've also been able to uncover some material in some of the lesser known (to Hokies at least) boards out there in the cyber jungle.

First up, of course, is some interesting stuff from our "rivals" at the Sabre.com (henceforth condensed to "VirginiaAcademics.com" or "Vac" - by the way, it's useful when reading this column to envision Chris Farley wearing a tight sportscoat, making those "quote" signs with his hands every time you see the quote marks ). Longtime "Vac" poster and sometime HC interloper "DC Hoo" leads off with a disappointing post in which he "waxes pathetic" on the Hokies' schedule this year. The head honcho at Message Board Minute HQ, heretofore known as the Minuteman, suggests that DC Hoo leave the griping about the VT schedule to fans of schools who don't actually get to play VT.

Naturally, no trip to the "Vac" would be complete without an alarming amount of talk about academics, and Welsh4Welsh does not disappoint us this week as he tries to define the top schools as those who produce two exceptional football player/students per decade. Nice try, W4W, but AnotherVTFan is on the case with a nice rebuttal.

Speaking of the "Vac" and nice rebuttals, we'd like to say right now we are all big fans of Hokie Matt's work. While sometimes frustrating in his restraint, and nearly always polite, he sometimes finds a way to take it down to the level of the bottom feeders and smack them around a bit, without compromising his own high standards. Check out noted wordsmith and visionary Aussiehoo, along with HM's reply. Well done Matt.

Moving on to the Syracuse board, trust us on this, there's a whole lot of crap over there, typified by this classic. Gotta love those Cuse fans, through thick and thin they always hate their coach.

We did our best to bring you something quality, something entertaining, something fun, something interesting, something borrowed, something blue, blah blah blah from the WVU board, but alas, there is hardly ever anything to report over there. If you don't have time to check out that board, we'll condense it into 5 words: Nehlen can't win bowl games.

The popular thinking has always been that we should all focus on our next game - pish posh, fiddlesticks! We love looking ahead. Looking ahead is good. Looking ahead is pure. Looking ahead will unlock the door to untold millions in personal wealth and happiness. Looking ahead is what it's all about when you're talking message board banter. So with that in mind, now's the time to head on over to the Rutgers Board, heretofore referred to as "the Rutgers Board". You'll probably find that the Rutgers fans are quick to tell you just how bad they suck. If you do not immediately find out how bad they suck, go ahead and post a quick little message entitled "How bad do you suck?***"

Moving right along, How Bout Them Pirates? 'Cane Football has always been an embarrassment to the genre of College Football Boards that we all know and love, but this week has been especially bad for Grassy's band of merry freaks. The board has settled down into it's familiar pattern of posts questioning Davis and Coker, followed by posts questioning those who question Davis and Coker, which of course leads to posts questioning those who question those who question Davis and Coker. Take out the profanity, typos, and lousy grammar and that's pretty much the 'Cane Football board in a nutshell. One thing we feel must be brought to the attention of the HokieCentral gang is the official kickoff of the year 2000 "We're Back, Baby" campaign, heretofore referred to as "WBB2K". Jensen Beach Cane breaks the ceremonial bottle of wine on the hull of this doomed ship with the following: (note: link may disappear off of Grassy's server soon, so we've cut and pasted the Cane posts here)

When I was saying that Miami is........

still feeling the scholarship cuts to all the Butch, coach and team bashers it was like talking to a brick wall and I think their brains are probably just as dense. Butch and his staff cannot be assessed until Miami is back to full strength and that is still a year or two away. The scholarship cuts decimated Miami and will be that way for several years. This constant slamming of the coaches is not doing any good. So suck it up guys and take your medicine like a man because that is what the sanctions were, medicine.

Lack of Institutional Control=National Champs...

Look at the winners of the National Championships dating back to 1991. 1998- Tennessee- Current academic scandal and recent arrests 1997- Nebraska- The Lincoln Jail house is not big enough to hous all their criminals - Michigan- They are the 1 excepion to this rule as I don't know of any problems they have had. 1996- Florida- We all know about the agent problems they have had 1995- Nebraska- See 1997 for their results 1994- Nebraska- See 1997 for their results 1993- FSU -Where do I start? They have numerous arrests in the 90's. 1 guy, Julian Pittman, got out of jail on Wednesday and played on Saturday in 97 against UNC. Also do u remember Free Shoes University 1992- Alabama- Went on probation shortly after winning title 1991- Miami- I think we know all to well about our problems with Luther Campbell.....etc.... Washington- Also went on probation shortly after winning title. Also most of these teams mentioned that have won titles are also the teams that play for the title every year. It seems like you have to have thugs to win.

We could spend all day on the 'Canes, but this is supposed to be the Message Board Minute, so we'll wrap up with a string on the Georgia Tech board that discusses the VT-Clemson game pretty objectively. And what the heck, let's throw in some of what those guys are known for, their humor. Good stuff, G.T. J.T. - we'll be watching you.

-- Staff at MBM

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